Satire: Ho, Ho, Ho! 9/11 Was An Inside Job!

Santa Claus
The Onion

Seasons greeting from your old friend Santa! My, my, Christmas is [today], and everyone here at the North Pole can’t wait to deliver presents to all you nice boys and girls this year. Yes, Jolly ol’ St. Nicholas hopes you’re all being as good as can be!

But today, Santa would like to tell you all about something very naughty, something very, very naughty indeed. Dear children, have you not heard? Why, 9/11 was an inside job! Oh, ho, ho, my, yes it was!

I mean, look at the facts, boys and girls! We already know the Bush administration was itching to go to war in Iraq, now, don’t we? Yes, indeed we do, my darling ones! The Downing Street memo proves that beyond a shadow of a doubt. Then you look at the Presidential Daily Briefing of Aug. 6, 2001, the one headlined “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.” Ignored! Why, children, they threw that briefing aside like used wrapping paper on Christmas morning, didn’t they?

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